Author: Rachana

“I worked for my uncle Scott the summer after my freshman year of college, as his home renovation ‘apprentice’ :  a medieval word, but really there’s no better descriptor. A retired architect, Scott bought a sprawling house on the side of a ravine in Bayside, Wisconsin and committed the rest of his life to making it absolutely, painstakingly to his taste. He was — and is still — a perfectionist of the most maddening order.

My job was to do the kinds of character-building tasks you read about in fables.

One morning I showed up to his house to find six square yards of manure and a wheelbarrow in the driveway. (Imagine a four-foot tall mountain of poop filling a small bedroom.) “I’m leaving for the day,” he said, “When I return at 4pm, I want to see all that crap carefully placed into the flowerbeds down the side of the ravine. If you spill any of it along the way, I’ll know.” After precisely eight hours, he was back to criticize the twenty-five yard trail I’d inadvertently carved into his lawn. Much yard-tending ensued in my days ahead.

He had me sharpen all the pencils in the house so that when we measured and cut wood for his handcrafted window frames and baseboards, our incisions would have surgical accuracy. If he ever caught me using a blunt pencil, he’d either stuff a new one into my hand or threaten to make me clean the basement — which, despite my many efforts, never sparkled quite to his liking.

As the summer progressed, I realized that in allowing me to work on his projects, he was trusting me with his most beloved possession. His house represented his life’s work. He let me select the matting and framing for all of his artwork. He consulted my opinion on wall paint and hardware. He encouraged me to care about a project by embracing its minutia, and demanded that I raise the standards for my own work to meet his. “God is in the details,” he liked to say, though I’m pretty sure he was an atheist in everything other than home renovation. That he expected me to even come close to his level of artisan care was a high compliment — and a huge vote of confidence in me.

The most important thing he did was choose me to be his apprentice. It sounds simple. As a professional woman I can tell you it’s not. I knew that the job he expected me to do is primarily done by men. The fact that my gender never came up — not once, not even hinted at as the reason for my many, many shortcomings during my renovation learning curve — is so significant to me.

I’ve had countless bosses in the thirteen years since I worked for Scott — most of them older males, all of them a cake walk following that summer apprenticeship. Few have had such a lasting impact on my professional character. The voice of Scott’s exacting manner rings in my ears on a damn near daily basis — it motivates me to push things a little further, and to demand a little more of myself and those around me. His standards for me have since become my standards for myself. Sometimes people struggle not to judge my work through the lens of my gender. But I never question my drive or my pride in a job well done, because that’s what he taught me:  to judge my work only as a professional.

Men: you should never underestimate the influence you can have on the women you invest in,  and the positive impact of treating them as you would anyone else in the workplace. We carry your empowerment with us throughout our careers, throughout our lives. With that kind of foundation, women can just focus on doing good work. That’s as simple as it sounds.”

– Chelsea, Marketing Director
San Francisco, CA

This story was adapted from Chelsea’s article “My uncle, the unconscious feminist” on Medium

View and share this story on Facebook and at The Corner ofthe Court 

Lyla shares her story of her older brother’s influence, protecting her from an arranged marriage and encouraging her service as an active duty as a Navy Surface Warfare and Intelligence officer. She currently runs a non-profit dedicated to leadership of both women and men in the U.S. Special Operations community.

  “My family emigrated from Afghanistan to the U.S. in 1982, a few months before my third birthday. I grew up in a conservative Sunni Muslim home. When I turned 12, my father planned to take me from our home in Springfield, Virginia to Afghanistan so he could arrange my marriage to a man in his 50s.

My older brother Bashir, an enlisted U.S. Navy Corpsman in San Diego at the time, convinced my father to allow me and my mother to move in with him so I could continue my education. When my father was killed during his trip overseas, a 19-year-old Bashir legally adopted me since my mother did not speak English. In addition to working long shifts at the military hospital and making very little money as a junior enlisted sailor, he worked weekends at a civilian clinic so he could afford our spartan two-bedroom apartment. After years of us living off mainly beans and rice, he fought to get into a Bachelor’s program so he could become an officer. His commitment to taking care of me and our mother was his primary motivator to work harder and reach higher.

As an officer, he volunteered for multiple deployments to Afghanistan. I followed in his footsteps by joining the Navy but he insisted I become an officer as well. He helped me prepare for college interviews and complete my applications. He also said he would take on additional jobs in order to pay for my college education.

Thankfully, I received a Navy ROTC scholarship and graduated from Penn State in 2001. I served on active duty until 2007 as a Surface Warfare and then Intelligence officer, completing a deployment to Afghanistan as a counter-terrorism analyst. Since leaving the military, I continued to serve as a counter-insurgency analyst, instructor, and advisor.

I’m graduating in May with a Master’s from Georgetown University and will apply for Ph.D. in 2018. I’m the first woman in my family to earn a high school diploma, attend a university, join the military, and open a small business. None of these achievements would have been possible without my brother’s encouragement and support.

My brother has been my role model, my mentor, and my champion my entire life. He is, without a doubt, the most selfless man I know. He taught me to respect myself so I could demand respect from others. He’s now retired after serving 22 years and is married to a successful Naval officer. As a stay-at-home father, he makes a very conscious choice to teach his young son to respect all women (including his baby sister) and to stand up for anyone who is mistreated.

I have personally felt the effect strong male mentors and role models can make on a young woman. I recently co-founded PROMOTE, a non-profit addressing the challenges women face as aspiring leaders in a predominantly male military. We connect junior female service members with mentors — both men and women — and provide professional development education to retain talented young women. Our mission is to transform how military leaders mentor the next generation of leaders, ensuring cross-gender mentoring becomes the norm and not the exception.

As with all my life’s endeavors, my brother is my biggest champion and I know I can count on him every step of the way.”

– Lyla, Diversity & Inclusion Strategist
Washington, D.C.

This story was first published on Facebook and at The Corner of the Court Project.

Meet Erin, a woman of many “firsts” including being the first female football coach at the University of Albany, and the first in her position with the both the NFL and New York Giants.  Erin shares her inspiring story of her male champion, NY Giants and football PR superstar Pat Hanlon.

“As Vice President at RISE (Ross Initiative in Sports for Equality) and a proud member of WISE (Women in Sports and Events), the professional advancement of women is an issue close to my heart.

I have been ‘the first’ a few times in life. I was the first girl in my family; the first female to coach football at the University of Albany; and the first woman to hold my position at both the New York Giants and the National Football League. As a frequent minority, I sought allies in the majority who could offer support and direction. My father and brothers served as early guides.

Later, I was blessed to be employed by one of the best male champions in the game, New York Giants Senior Vice President of Communications Pat Hanlon.

Once dubbed the ‘Rock Star of Football PR’ by PR Week, Hanlon may seem an unlikely feminist, but he has a long history of advocating for equal rights. Husband to a former NBA executive and father to two daughters and a son, he has helped launch and guide the careers of countless young people.

While working for him I was thrilled to be considered for the same assignments as my male colleagues and held to the same high standards. When issues arose that required different perspectives — such as a player publicly comparing a bad loss to rape — he sought and valued my opinion. He modeled true leadership in times of adversity and always helped us learn from our mistakes. But what shaped me most was the way he used sports to help others. Through large and small gestures, he brightened the lives of sick children, wounded veterans and the elderly. He always goes the extra mile to pass his blessings onto others and inspired me to do the same.

Over the past 17 years, I’ve sought Hanlon’s advice on everything from switching jobs to burying my oldest brother and climbing Mount Kilimanjaro. He is one of the busiest men I know, and yet he always makes time to be there.

Behind most women in sports you’ll find a male champion. I am grateful that he is mine.”

– Erin, Vice President at RISE (Ross Initiative in Sports for Equality), New York City

To celebrate International Women’s Day, on March 8, 2017, we featured a story of a young woman entrepreneur, Allie, who spoke about her male mentor, venture capitalist Tim Draper.   Check out Allie’s story below and at The Corner of the Court Project.

“’I’m not so sure your business is scalable. But you: you’re it.’

I distinctly remember renowned venture capitalist Tim Draper’s feedback. I was 21. It was my first pitch competition. At that moment, Tim saw something in me that investors search for in their founders. It was positivity and grit.

Tim and Melissa Draper sponsor the largest collegiate pitch competition for women. Tim’s mom, sister, and wife Melissa Draper attended Smith, making my alma mater a natural fit to plant the seed of entrepreneurship as a career path for women.

Sure, my idea wasn’t a viable business. But what I learned was far more valuable: public speaking and personability, receiving constructive criticism, and networking up among business people and investors.

A year later, I worked for Smith College to market the competition I had once participated in, and scaled the number of participants by 500%. I spotted the towering man throwing his head back in a full-belly laugh as he entered the building. For a serious investor, Tim has a wildly youthful personality. I ran up to him immediately.

“I remember you!” he said. I was offered a job on the spot. Three weeks later, I was living in San Francisco, doing marketing for Tim’s entrepreneurship program Draper University.

Giving me a position at Draper University meant Tim entrusted me with the responsibility to grow and create success for his company. He believed that though I was young and relatively inexperienced, I had what it takes to figure things out.

Tim Draper fervently believes in the value of women in business for diversity of thought and return on investment, whether he’s investing in them through venture or social capital.

I am forever grateful for having Tim as a champion at the start of my professional career, and as a lifelong mentor.”

– Allie, Marketing & Partnerships, New York City